


Girls Day Out

by khorybannefin



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-02
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 06:38:41
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,099
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15137297
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/khorybannefin/pseuds/khorybannefin
Summary: The boys general insensitivity to females lands them in a strange predicament.





	Girls Day Out

Girls Day Out

Cast: Reader + Dean + Sam

Author: khorybannefin

Author Gender: Female

Reader Gender: Female

Summary: Boys will be boys, but the reader is getting sick of their shit. She books a spa day and the guys get to see what women actually go through.

Warnings: Fluff, secondhand embarrassment, mentions of nudity

A/N: The idea for this came from cookingglitterfairy (who you guys should check out!) And it was just too funny not to do. Hopefully you have as much fun with this as I did!

 

"Dean! What the hell is the dent on my bike? What did you do?"

"Come on Y/N, it's just a bike. It's not like it's a classic car or something."

***

"Are you kidding me? Who ate my chocolate?"

"Sorry, Y/N," Sam mumbled around a mouthful. "I forgot what "time" it was."

***

"I mean what the hell is taking so long? Neither of us ever take this much time in the bathroom." Dean paces. "We were supposed to be at this stupid party ten minutes ago. What is she doing in there?"

You walk out, dressed to the nines and gorgeous. Perfect makeup, perfect hair, just the right amount of perfume.

"Finally! Let's go, we're late."

***

"I have had it with the both of you! You think it's easy being a woman? Huh? Think we just wake up perfect in the morning? You have no idea how much care and maintenance goes into being female. So, I'm going to change that."

You slap down a brochure for a spa several towns over. The boys were already looking uncomfortable. It was like being berated by a mother. They had that guilty "hand in the cookie jar" look of shame. When the paper hit the table and they saw the cover they both looked at each other, then at you.

"I don't get it," Sam said, that adorable confused wrinkle in his forehead. "You're going to a spa?"

"Wrong!" You stood back, hands on your hips, grinning ear to ear. "We're ALL going to a spa. I will book it, and you two will go through the exact same treatments that I go through. You're going to see just what it takes to be a woman."

They looked horrified, especially Dean. You figured he'd be the hardest one to crack. His whole life was based on this James Dean macho act. Granted, he had the sexiness to pull that shit off, but he was also the least sensitive. Sam just looked resigned.

"You've got to be kidding," Dean leaned across the table. "I don't care what pissy little mood you're in but I'm not just gonna go get a facial to make you feel better."

"Come on Dean," Sam put a hand on Dean's shoulder. "We have been being pretty rough with Y/N lately. We kind of deserve this."

"Forget it! I'm not doing it."

"It's ok, Sam," you said, a tone in your voice. "I figured Dean would be too much of a coward to do it." You hit that button and you hit it hard. He caved.

"Coward? Me?" Dean snatched the brochure off the table. He flipped through it.   
"Doesn't even look that bad. You know what? I'll take your little dare. And when we get done with this there's going to be some payback, little miss." He glared and shook a finger at you. "Go ahead. Book the damned thing. I can take anything you can dish out."

Oh boy was he going to regret that, and Sam knew it too. You'd provoked Dean and now they were both going to pay for Dean's little comeback. Sam was at least half clued into women. He knew this was going to be bad. He didn't know how bad, but it would suck for sure, just to get back at Dean. Why did he always end up paying for Dean's insensitivity?

***

"All right, ladies." You said, getting out of the Impala. "Are you ready for this? You can back out now if you're chicken." Sam flinched, but Dean puffed up like a damned rooster.

"Let's get this over with. I've got guns to clean."

You headed inside and got you all checked in. You had very deliberately not told the boys what was going to happen, and had paid the staff very well not to tell them either. You started with the good stuff first.

Neither of them were really into the mud bath. At least not while in it. Dean complained the whole time about "How the hell do you get clean covered in mud?" He had dirt in places he didn't know he had, and the squish factor was making him really uncomfortable. For Sam it was more that his hair was getting in the way. You loved his hair, but it was kind of long for mud. Yours was up and they put him in a towel turban too. Dean kept looking over at him and giggling.

"Lawrence of Arabia over here. Come on Sammy. You could just cut it."

"I'm not cutting my hair Dean." Sam said defensively. "One of us has to be the pretty one."

"Are you serious?" Dean sat up, glaring at him. "You think you're the pretty one? I guess that's why you get all the chicks. Oh, wait, you don't! How long has it been Sammy?"

"Shut it, Dean!" Sam had that look, the one where his jaw clenched so hard you could see the muscles working. You decided to put a stop to it.

"All right, girls. No bickering."

They both shot you the bitchface from Hell and you just laughed. You all got out and showered off. You saw Dean whispering to Sammy as they came out of the changing rooms in their fresh white robes. You overheard him before he saw you and clammed up.

"It's so soft! I'm telling you Sammy my skin has never felt this good. Like a newborn baby." You smirked and he glared, not giving an inch. You shrugged.

"Facial time!"

They did the gentle exfollient. It was apricot scented and yummy. Dean said it smelled like pie, which was his way of saying he liked it. The mask was mint. It was tingly and they put the requisite cucumbers over your eyes. Once that was rinsed off you got a face massage as they worked in the moisturizer. Both admitted that that was really good. 

The mani/pedi went on concurrently with the facial treatments. The guys were uncomfortable with people touching them when they couldn't see, thanks to the cucumbers. Dean cleared his throat and shifted. You thought he'd probably realized he was naked under a robe and a woman was on her knees playing with his feet. Sam, to your endless amusement, was ticklish! He kept jumping every time the poor girl touched him. He was gripping the arms of the chair so hard his knuckles were white. You kept trying not to giggle.

"That wasn't half bad," Dean was making a considering face, brushing his hands over his face. "What do you think Sammy? Do I look ten years younger?" Dean grinned. Sam was examining his nails. He didn't even look up.

"You're immature for your age, Dean." Dean punched him in the shoulder.

"Now, now. No fighting or no full body massage for you." You sniffed. Dean looked at you with that awful grin on his face. He really was immature. You could practically hear his thoughts.

"Massage, huh?" Dean elbowed Sammy. "Full body massage." You rolled your eyes and so did Sam.

"God, would you curb your libido for five minutes? This isn't that kind of place." You grabbed him by the arm and glared into his eyes. "You ask for a "happy ending" and get us kicked out and I will take a sledgehammer to that penis mobile parked outside. Understood?" Dean swallowed, his voice husky.

"You wouldn't dare hurt my Baby."

"Just you try me, Winchester." You hissed. Dean threw up his hands in defeat. 

They were split up into their separate rooms for the massage. Again Sam had a rough time. He was so ticklish he got amazingly tense. Eventually the voice of the masseuse, as well as the little waterfall and the lavendar oil, soothed him and he stopped twitching at her every move. Dean, on the other hand, passed out in under three minutes. He came out bleary eyed, but looking much better. Sam was turning his neck and stretching his arms.

"That was incredible," Sam said, still testing his range of motion. "I had no idea how much everything hurt until it was gone."

"Yeah, and what was that smell in the oil? We should get some of that."

"It was lavendar, Dean, and I have a ton of it. You just never want the bunker smelling "girly"."

"Well if it's that stuff it's alright." You grinned smugly, a bit of wicked you couldn't hide.

"Come on boys. Last hurdle."

You didn't explain as the three of you were separated again. You were laid on a table, face up, much as you had been for the massage. Only this time there was the smell of hot wax in the room. Sam's eyebrow started to raise when he smelled it but Dean was clueless. He protested the hell out of it when the girl removed his towel though.

"Hey, hey!" He grabbed for the towel again. "I thought this wasn't that kind of place?" The girl giggled.

"She didn't tell you, did she?" She gently pulled the towel away from him again. "Just relax, it only hurts for a second."

"What only hurts for a second?" Dean was getting awfully tensed up, eyes wide, his paranoia kicking in hard core. Then he heard a muffled exclamation from the next room.

"SAMMY?!" Dean made to get up but you shouted through the other wall.

"Stay put, Dean. Sam's fine. Just let the lady do her work. Or are you going to give up and quit?" You couldn't see Dean's face but you knew his jaw had tensed. You could practically hear him lay back down, stoic suffering on his face.

"Whatever it is, just do it."

The wax was actually soothing and warm, but not where she was putting it. She was using a tongue depressor and basically buttering him in an area she shouldn't be near unless there was beer and sheets involved. She placed a piece of paper, and rubbed it down.

"Now take a deep breath." Dean sucked in air and she yanked that paper. Dean yelled like he'd been shot.

"Hold on, just a few more to go."

The girl was as soothing as she could be. She wiped away the remaining wax with a cool cloth soaked in witch hazel, to reduce the irritation and redness, and told Dean he was done. He hadn't stopped cursing under his breath since the first strip. 

He got back in his clothes and met Sam and you at the front desk. He was shifting and walking kind of bowlegged, trying really hard not to tug and adjust his jeans in public. Sam was walking a little gingerly as well. You sauntered out to the car, turning to them as you went to get in.

"So, how does it feel to be full fledged and newly plucked ladies?"

"I am never doing that again, I don't care how good it smells." Dean was tugging at his inseam. Sam shook his head.

"Come on Dean. It wasn't that bad." Sam glanced at you from under his hair, sort of a pleading look. "Besides, we did kind of deserve it."

"Ok fine! We deserved it. You happy?" Dean gestured at you in question, this his grudging way of admmitting defeat. You just smiled.

"So long as you remember this the next time you complain about me taking too long in the bathroom."

"If you can promise I can keep all my...feathers...where they belong, I won't say a word." Dean climbed into the drivers seat. You leaned over your window and kissed Sam on the cheek before getting in. He smiled. He'd been a good sport and you and he both knew his suffering was entirely Dean's fault.

"If you two are done necking can we go home now?" Poor, pouting Dean. Jealousy did not become him. Perhaps there was a way you could fix that. But for today you were satisfied with knowing that Dean wouldn't be able to sit right for the rest of the day. God bless the bikini wax!


End file.
